It’s approaching the end of the day. I have not showered. I have a dishwasher that needs to be emptied, a mountain of dirty clothing that is begging to be laundered, two dogs snoring next to the piles of hair they have deposited on the floor, and a teenage son who is running around this house with his best friend. Today, I cannot be bothered with the trivialities of hygiene and housework. Today I am being me.
Today, I am not the woman who appears to have it all together. I am not the woman who wears thirty different hats, juggling fragile glass balls, hoping that none fall and break into a million pieces. I will not be the woman who uses humor to navigate her day, hoping that no one sees the stress behind her eyes. Not today.
Today, I am the woman with no frills. Not the woman with the makeup perfectly blended, and the hair impeccably coiffed. Today, I am taking a break. This is me. I have a “fivehead” not a forehead, and it’s lined with marks of experience and survival. I have poor vision but, my green eyes have seen truths, lies, triumphs and defeats. My skin is pale and not tanned but, it is the complexion of a strong French heritage. My smile is crooked, but it has laughed through both sadness and joy. It is real. And so am I.
Today, my body is not small but, it is powerful. It has survived sexual assault and physical abuse. It has endured broken bones and torn muscles. It has created life. My body is exceptional.
Today, my mind is unique. It has been broken and pieced back together. My mind has suffered through anxiety and depression but, has never hesitated to learn and to grow. It has found humor and creativity. It has a quest for answers and reason. It is logical and honest. It has helped others to navigate through their struggles. My mind is free.
Today, my heart is full of love and life. It has been broken and healed, broken and healed, broken and healed. It is resilient with an enormous capacity for empathy and gratitude. It beats with determination. It guides me through life’s winding paths and personal encounters. My heart is kind.
I don’t just love me. I. Like. Me.
This is me. The one you don’t see.